This month, I wasn’t just busy building content.
I was in the trenches of scripture and theology.
The recent exposés of charismatic leaders stirred memories of my own past in the movement and reinforced convictions I now hold firmly.
Much of my reflection this month has been sparked by watching Mike Winger’s videos examining charismatic leaders. Those discussions have forced me to look back — not just at the movement itself, but at my own story within it.
In the past, I fell down the rabbit hole of the charismatic movement. (2017-2019 ish) The damage it did to my view of God was slow but devastating. It distorted His character in ways that took years to untangle. By God’s grace, my theology has been rebuilt slowly, carefully, and with scars that remind me how easily believers can be misled.
Because of that history, I hold a few firm convictions on how I operate — especially as someone who now creates content online from a biblical perspective.
For example, I refuse to use language that echoes charismatic promises. I will not promise women a child. I won’t even casually frame infertility as “waiting,” because that word can subtly imply a guaranteed outcome. I’ve seen how those assumptions can fracture someone’s relationship with God when the outcome doesn’t come.
Another conviction that has grown stronger in me is what I call the “bleeding heart syndrome.” In their pursuit of being loving and gracious, we have allowed wolves into the sheepfold. A call for repentance has gone silent, discernment feels unkind, and the result is confusion and the rise of church hurt that casts a shadow on the character of God.
Case in point is Todd White and Shawn Bolz. I don’t believe the solution is harshness. But I do believe silence in the face of manipulation is collusion. Unrepentant sin — especially in leadership — leaves a trail of confused and hurt believers. Sometimes this even leads people to turn their face from God.
I remember a season of wavering in my trust in God’s character due to these damages. Unfortunately, the series of events of that season contributed to making things worse. I had to do something drastic, so I pulled myself from my childhood church. I attribute that decision to saving me from drowning. As I exited, I tried to tie up loose ends and exempt myself from guilt. When things would come to pass, I didn’t want the responsibility to fall on my head.
In one of these conversations, a leader told me, “I knew ‘Blank’ was manipulating everyone.”
I was stunned. Why didn’t she step in? I had been pleading for help for months, afraid the weight would cause me to go down in flames… It did.
I don’t share that to tarnish her name. I share it because that moment marked me. It shaped how seriously I now take the responsibility of leadership.
The weight of teaching is real. Scripture is clear that those who teach will be judged more strictly. That truth sobers me.
As someone who speaks about God publicly — even through Instagram — I am accountable for every word. I am liable if I lead God’s sheep astray. I desire to examine my steps carefully, avoiding hypocrisy if possible. I hope people call me out when I’m in error because I fear the Lord more than sounding dumb.
Obedience to God for the sake of His name is a flame in my heart that can’t be tamed. I know God has given me a great amount of grace over my lifetime. To leave sin in ways I think are inhumanly possible. I know that many will struggle and wrestle with sin. We all will, yet that is not my point. It is the justification of sin that is dangerous to the body of Christ.
I don’t want to just talk about truth… I want to be a bond servant of Christ. I have no choice but to obey. I have no choice but to live in repentance. I have no choice. The name of Jesus Christ is on the line.
And I refuse to handle it casually.
-Jessica Railsback
IMMORALITIES MASQUERADE
When did believers become blind to the sins that grieved the Spirit? Accepting sins into our homes when the Lord would have us stay clear of it. What happened to “Telling the truth in love” to set them free? Because it’s not loving to let them believe a damaging lie just to let them feel pleased? When did the rich gospel become so watered down by love and acceptance? Did we forget that the beauty of God’s love is so powerful because of our sinful death sentence? Why are we okay with a profession of faith without fruit? Why are we okay with accepting sins that are destructive at their root? What happened to putting away all moral filth and wickedness? When did we reject the implanted word for our fickleness? Did we forget that God’s kindness is meant to lead to repentance? Not the source of validation to continue in our sinful nonsense. Scripture says to cast them out and to hand them over to their sin. So why do we lend the wolf sheep’s clothing and let them in? Do we no longer hold the fear of the Lord in our hearts? Are we masking disobedience as part of God’s art? Forgive us, Lord, for we are bringing dishonor and shame, by allowing immorality to masquerade around your name.
Poem written during the spring of 2025, by Jessica Railsback
Renewed Dream 