GROW UP OR IT WILL MELT

I was trapped watching grown adults watch ice melt.
While sharing how not getting their starbucks felt.
Hearing them say they are only 26 when their not far away,
From wondering where all their precious time began to fade.
When did adults gain the right to act like kids?
While complacency has them stuck in their cribs.
Did their bodies never say it’s ready for the next chapter?
Or am I missing the clues to why it’s not a factor?
At some point you have to stop watching ice melt.
And at some point you need to stop chasing how moments felt.
I had that moment when the ice began to break.
I knew at that moment I had made a mistake.
I was living a life that only allowed for it to repeat itself.
I had inadvertently placed my dreams on a shelf.
I wanted to get married but was living my life to stay single.
Living like a single missionary, never leaving time to mingle.
I wanted to move out of my parents house, with no time to work.
With my time filled, how can I make money as a store clerk?
Debating over which spiritual philosophy everyone understood.
Was too heavenly minded to do any earthly good.
Saying yes to every ministry never lets me pursue my calling.
Now burnout has me running and finding ways to keep stalling.
Now I am 23 wondering how much I wasted my youth as a kid.
Not doing all the important things before i Sneeze and break a rib.
At least I didn’t wait that long to move on in life.
Because I enjoy being someone’s wife.
I couldn’t keep doing those silly retreats.
I couldn’t keep listening to the drama from the back seats.
I couldn’t keep watching the youth never become adults.
I couldn’t stand re-living the same results.
I couldn’t stand the meaningless conversations just to pick a fight.
Especially when they already know what they are doing isn’t right. 
At that time it seemed I was doing what was wise.
But I was only doing what was right in someone else’s eyes.
I served wherever they were needing assistance.
Thinking it was holy to be persistent. 
I thought it was important to stick it out.
That somehow it was up to me to end the drought. 
Instead my bones dried up and became bitter.
I could no longer fix it up with glitter.
I could no longer watch my life melt like ice in my hands.
I couldn’t patch up doubt with knowing God had a plan.
I whispered a prayer to God, knowing he was with me.
As I took a leap over the obese, I trusted Him to lead.
I couldn’t stay in the ignorant loop of my youth.
I was ready to take up a sword of truth.
I needed to stop melting as the days continued.
That ridiculous pastime has been discontinued.
Because now is the time to set a course for your future,
If you wait too long you bleed out before your suture.
Just because you are young doesn’t mean time should be wasted.
In fact it is the time in which your life should be created.

r.d.Jess

GROW UP OR IT WILL MELT

During the 1950’s couples were getting married in their early 20’s, now the average age has consistently grown to their 30’s. With each generation taking longer to buy a house or graduate from school. Waiting years to get married and about the same time before they start to try having kids; if they decide to have them. All though we have all been hit hard with inflation or politics, I don’t think that is the only problem hindering us from accomplishing any thing in our generation. This poem reveals the sad truth. We are the generation that is good at wasting our youth. You may have heard people tell us that since we are young this is our time. Many take this to mean, that it is our time to party, to enjoy ourselves. I can’t agree with that at all. I think our energy and youth should be used during this stage of life to create or lives.

To work to get out of our parents homes, find the job, find the girl make plan to settle your life. It doesn’t mean you have to be tied down. I think that is the greatest lie we have believed in as this generation. Life is too short to wait until your almost dead to start building a life. Yeah we are going to make mistakes and we are going to fail; but that is how we learn the best. In fact hardship and doing tough things stave away mental health disorders. You can read about it in the book called the Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter. This is a different message we are told. Trust me, I’ve been one to fall for this method. I was miserable and couldn’t figure out why the wisdom I was given didn’t work as they said it would. Do you ever feel like you were lied to? This might be why.

When I finally realized what was happening I made a big change. I stopped filling up my time in ministry because it was leaving me no time to do anything else in life. I couldn’t get a job, I had never been in a relationship. I was struggling with burn out , finances and any kind of a future that didn’t look like what I had been doing for the past ten years. If I wanted my life to look like being married and being an author. I needed to start acting like one. So I took a leap and got two jobs at the start of January. I pursued finding a husband and I got married before the end of the year. My life looks very different then it did just a year ago. My friends and mentors look really different too. I’ve written more, kept a clean house, started baking from scratch and tried so many new recipes.

If you don’t grow up and decide what you want and go for it, you will watch your life melt before your eyes. Do you want to wonder “where did the time go?”

Published by reneweddream.com

Hi, I am R.D. Jess. I am a christian writer and postpartum doula. My relationship with my God is not a religion but a state of who I am. I love being there for others and find that writing the hard truth is the best way to make people feel less alone.

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